I am God

If you find the following post strange, then you’ve outsmarted me. My idea was to make it shocking!

Let me begin by telling you a story from my own life.

I was born into a devout Hindu family. I grew up listening to Vedic recitals, chanting the mantras and worshiping the gods (all the odd 330 million of them). I was barely thirteen when I began reading the Bhagavat Gita. By age fourteen, I was so completely immersed in it all that I gave up all material attachments and became an ascetic, walking around with a loincloth around my waist and sandalwood paste on my forehead.

Then, barely two years of begging and wandering (I traveled a good portion of India on foot!), disillusionment set in.

I saw no purpose in following some god whose job was to create creatures like us and play with our lives. I’m not going to be a puppet, I decided.

I was fifteen when I gave up asceticism, replaced the loincloth with jeans, and became a die-hard non-vegetarian, non-conformist and non-believer. At eighteen I was into marijuana, body piercing and other cool things.

A devout, God-fearing kid had grown up into a confused, angst-ridden, wayward, atheistic delinquent youth.

What went wrong along the way? What turned a dreamy adolescent into an ascetic, an addict and an atheist?

Nothing went wrong. It was all my choice.

I deliberately chose to go through all that I went through. Right from my birth. I chose my parents, my country of birth, the situations that I’ve been in, my trials, tribulations, frustrations, hopes, dreams, everything. I chose them all, for I wanted to savor the rich kaleidoscope of human experience. And I’m happy I did so.

The Bhagavat Gita that I read as an adolescent is in fact a book about myself. Lord Krishna who dispenses transcendental knowledge to the confused warrior Arjuna is none other than me. And Arjuna, too, is who else, but me. It’s fun to play these contrasting roles at the same time. Arjuna and Krishna, the muddled and the sublime, the victor and the vanquished, the sinner and the saint, war and peace, birth and death. Oh how I love to play these multiple roles! This variety is what keeps me lively and engaged. If not for this wealth of diversity, the whole idea of creation would be so mundane and outdated.

There is variety and flux because I choose it to be so. It’s all my choice.

Even at this moment, here on earth, it’s my choice whether I am happy or sad, whether I complain about what is not or be grateful for what is, whether I pursue my passion and go for my goals or I wallow in self-pity and drown like a mouse. Nobody else but I choose my own success and failure, I choose the way I live my life.

I choose, because I have life. I have life, because I am God.

Yes, I am God.

And so are you. Because we are one, inseparably one. We are one God with many faces.

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